How Music and Math Helped me Overcome my Self Doubt, Say What?!

I am shocking with money... I don't mean in the sense that I can't keep track of spendings and earnings and all that. I mean the adding, subtracting, multiplying that people just forget will be important in the real world when you're taking your SAT's or GCSE's.  
It's understandable right? Most of us are required to take some sort of math course as a prerequisite for graduating high school and I don't know about you, but sitting in a warm stuffy room, staring at a sheet of paper with a question asking me what the value of (x) is, is not my idea of fun, so Friend, let me tell you, I've tried. I've tried and tried to forget, but I guess Mr X had some other plans for my life 😜
Don't get me wrong, I know for some people math is their passion, the mathematician's dream as he leaps out of bed in the morning smiling as he thinks about all the fun ways he's going to solve Py that day, the astronauts excitement as he figures out the right mathematical logic to propel him in to space. I get it, really! That being said, I am not going to lie when I say math terrifies me.

Being that I was such a passionate music lover as a child up until I graduated from university, (math not really having any baring on how well I did in my end of year vocal recital,) it was not something that I really focused on. 
That being said, I had a huge admiration for people that were good with numbers, a feeling of which got stronger when I dived in to the exciting and high profile world of Hilton Hotels. I'm not joking when I say that I was dealing with tens of thousands of pounds a day by way of cash, credit and debit cards, with multiple different ways of processing the money on our super complicated computer system. You can imagine that for someone like me that struggled with numbers, I had to concentrate extra hard and was constantly doubting my capabilities regarding this vitally important part of the business's success. 
Some days I would be on fire, counting those thousands like there was no tomorrow, the next day I'd press the wrong button on the system charging card instead of cash making me hyperventilate and sweat uncontrollably. Needless to say it was rather stressful and nerve-racking existence but I LOVED everything else about the business, the interaction with guests, the multicultural environment and my super funny colleagues. So, I stuck with it!

I remember one day it was super busy on reception, queues out the door and a cacophony of languages all around me. I was thriving! Flanked by my two best colleagues either side of me I felt all was right in the world. 
To cut a long story short, a lovely middle-eastern family appeared in front of me, having booked quite a few nights with us and multiple rooms (all of which were different prices, I might add) As I tried to calculate the sums I remember thinking, 'Chels, you can do this, you are capable, stop doubting yourself' Having managed to complete the task after multiple calculation attempts, I asked for the gentleman's card, pressed enter and charged it! After a few moments of the gentleman studying the receipt, he turned to me and said; 'Ummm, excuse me, but I think you've overcharged us.' The blood drained from my face, and by that point I had to call my manager over, who, much to my dismay, confirmed the man's words. Let me just add that this was a good £150 or so over what they were meant to spend. 
I wished the floor would open and swallow me up! Being that I was still quite new and learning the system, the guest was very understanding as I hastily refunded the extra charge. I got lucky!

I have to tell you that this wasn't the only occasion where I went in to a money situation doubting myself, doubting what I was capable of and not realising that although the environment I was in was extremely fast-paced I had the power to tell myself 'take all the time you need, Chelsea.' 

Although these experiences were soul destroying and embarrassing, at times I was lucky enough to be surrounded by a supportive team and weekly live music nights, singers belting songs out like their life depended on it! 
Although I didn't realise it in the moment, listening to it was like a form of therapy, especially the blues and jazz singers who would sing every Friday and Saturday night... 'Georgia, I've got you Under my Skin and Hit the Road Jack' to name of few. (Listen in 'song lists' to the left side of my blog) Whatever had happened previously in the shift no matter what I'd struggled with or how scary something had felt, I'd leave reception, wander over to where the music was and instantly start feeling better!
Let me recap. I'm not saying that self doubt is not a powerful emotion. Heck, it took me over two years to master a technique for keeping calm and executing each transaction in a thorough and accurate way, but you know what, I did it, and I want you to know that, you can too! Whatever you struggle with, whatever part of your life you feel you can improve in, you have the power to take ownership and better yourself in the way and time you want. Ultimately, making you feel more confident and happy with the amazing individual that you are! I also want you to do things you're passionate about, like I did with my music. If you take the time to do what you enjoy, whether that's training for a half marathon, getting down and dirty with a friend in a crazy ol' mosh pit listening to your favourite band, or baking an incredibly elaborate cake you will find joy even in the areas in your life that you'd rather not face. You are strong, you have the power to create the kind of life you want. I KNOW, if you take this approach to life, you'll become an even greater version of yourself along the way!

Let me know in the comments below How you're getting on and be sure to check out the other cool stuff in the sidebar menu!

"Believe in yourself, your abilities and your own potential. Never let self-doubt hold you captive. You are worthy of all that you dream of and hope for.” 
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart